This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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