Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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