Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
vagina is talking i cant
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
