I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
