New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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