I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize