so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
