I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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