I accidentally burped into my bong.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
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You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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