She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
