Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
