You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
