My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym