She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?