i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Are we still banned from the library?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
