who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
