toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Me too!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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