I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
