Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
