I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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