I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
