I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I'm really busy with my period
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