I bet he comes in French.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
