watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love you. Go after that dick
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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