Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
