STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
