Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
