I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
