i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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