sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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