Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
