i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize