Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
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Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
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She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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