oh god the rape fog is back!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.