Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?