Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
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I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea