im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
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woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen