I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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