Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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