I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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