Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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