this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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