Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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