If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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