he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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