I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
