Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
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i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
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Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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