Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
