im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
