But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
