i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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