I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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