thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize