Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
