ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
