my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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