He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
