Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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