even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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