Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
