i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
