Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize