party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
